How soon we forget

Yesterday, I wrote about the importance of trusting that Time is the boss when making music, and about focusing on serving your musical intent, regardless of missed notes.

Today, I found myself doubting, uncertain, and consequently, timid, while playing for a new batch of students in their vocal coachings.

Now, to be fair, I wasn’t berating myself the way I did yesterday. Instead of being short-tempered, I was merely cowed into giving less than I could have.

When I listened back to the tapes, I discovered that, thankfully, the groove was still there.

But sadly, many of my musical intentions went unserved. My dreams of nuanced and emotionally evocative playing went unfulfilled - because I was scared.

This is only slightly better than getting angry with myself while playing. If I get angry, then I’m: 1) Being judgmental of my playing, and 2) Adding distracting negativity.

When I’m playing scared, then I’m only being self-conscious. I’m not adding anything to my playing- but that’s not much better.

Instead of settling for playing the right notes at the right time, I could add conviction. I could add a sense of daring - of being uncertain if my hands or musical ideas will hit their mark, but having the courage to try it see. I could add drama and flair. In fact, I should be doing this - when the music calls for it.

But when you’re self-conscious, you play timid. You play the right notes, you even keep the groove going - but you’re settling.

“I played all the right notes at the right time! What’s the matter with that?”

Literally, playing it safe. If you never miss a note and your Time is solid, no one can accuse you of being “wrong” - but no one will accuse you of touching their heart or moving their soul, either.

Music is not about being “right” or “wrong”. Music is a chance for one soul to reach out and touch others, and to know, at last, that it is not alone.

Scared music don’t make no Music.