Aggression

This is just a recap for my own benefit. With any luck, it will help illuminate something for you as well.

Today, while reading Bruce Tift’s Already Free, I learned about the 3 forms of aggression in the Western developmental view of psychology. Before we delve into aggression, note that neurosis, as used here, refers to a psychological response that we develop in order to avoid directly facing emotional intensity. Neuroses are often formed in childhood, arising as unconscious reactions intended to protect us from the surge of overwhelming emotion we experience in response to a provocative circumstance or occurrence.

The first form of aggression Tift writes about is neurotic feminine aggression, or what can be considered positive aggression in some Buddhist schools of thought. (Note that feminine here does not equate with female.) In short, this is when someone seeks to maintain positivity in his outward relationships and turns his aggression inward, believing that his "problem” arises from within. Examples of turning aggression inward include someone repressing their honest thoughts or acting deferent and accommodating toward another person, for the purpose of maintaining security, order, and calm. People acting in this way believe that, by “erasing” themselves, they can erase the tension in a conflict. This often leads to passive-aggressive behavior, due to the resentment of repressing oneself “boiling over” into micro-aggressions.

The second form Tift describes is neurotic masculine aggression, or negative aggression. This is the stereotypical form of aggression that most people picture - anger, belligerence, criticism, etc. It is outwardly-directed aggression, intended to combat a threat perceived to be coming from outside. When, for example, we feel threatened emotionally and blame others for causing the feeling, we are exhibiting negative aggression. Believing that others are the problem, we might try to criticize, intimidate, or control others, or we might distance ourselves mentally by adopting an attitude of superiority.

The third form of aggression is neurotic neutrality, or ignorance/ignoring. This is characterized by “spacing out” and not really being present, in order to escape having to feel intense emotion. Sometimes, this manifests as being “super spiritual,” living aloof and above the mundane trivialities of the real world. Other times, it might present as going through life confused, dazed, wishy-washy, and indecisive. In this way, it seems non-aggressive, but the implication of living like this is the self-absorbed demand that other people sort out the messy details of life on one’s behalf.

Tift notes that these are not fixed descriptions of personality types, but rather, different strategies that we all employ to varying degrees. Most people have a preferred aggression strategy they rely on to avoid facing intense emotions that threaten to annihilate and engulf them.

In addition, it is important to remember that, by definition, aggressive neuroses are inappropriate, habitual responses to the impending threat of feeling intense emotions. Of course, there are times when deference, anger, or aloofness are parts of a mature, psychologically-wholesome response. In contrast, the aggression described above is the sort that arises in knee-jerk fashion, an emotional habit developed during childhood, rather than as a mature response to challenging circumstances.

It’s my hope that, by seeing these strategies described, we can begin to recognize when we employ them in our own lives and so raise the possibility of making a more mature choice: one rooted in the reasoned decision-making of our adult selves, rather than unconscious reactions from a childhood long past.